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In fact, isn't it possible that the prospect of embarrassment is what underlies so many other things we find morbidly compelling about DD and have talked about here: crying, witnesses, public displays of her authority, etc.? For me, humbling is a conscious goal, and it can take subtle forms. I instantly start behaving better, and I feel better. Just by ordering the spanking she has put me in place. Taken me down a peg.


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And, that humbling feels good. Being that kinder, more considerate person all the time should be easy, but it's not. Like many men who are attracted to DD, there is a lot of testosterone coursing through these veins. It can help me take the kind of risks that build a successful career, but it can also lead to a lot of impetuous and impulsive decisions that come back to haunt me. It can help me take on jerks and posers, but it also leads me to ignore or confront legitimate authority. Humbling me also has major benefits for my wife.

She has said that when it comes to the spanking process, it is not delivering the spanking that she likes but, rather, ordering me to take off all my clothes and get in position and watching me comply. She knows such compliance is hard for my ego to take. Similarly, one reason that she likes "service submission" is she knows that I hate it and that my ego rebels every time she gives me an order.

She's been the victim of my ego for a long time, and putting that ego in its place is a form of "payback" just as giving a hard spanking can be a form of payback. But, we haven't gone much beyond that, and for most of our DD relationship had you asked me whether I have any desire for real humiliation or embarrassment, I would have said no. I'm not as sure. An exchange I had with Danielle about the story that accompanied the photo I posted a few weeks ago of a guy with a cowboy hat draped over a hay bale with his naked ass displaying stripes from a recent caning or whipping got me thinking about this more.

As I recounted, the story involved a man and woman who were in some kind of kinky relationship with a dominant male. The wife had asked the other man to take care of some of her husband's behavioral problems. We also talked about the embarrassment of someone knowing about a particular spanking in the moment or that one is coming. Others knowing about a spanking definitely does something for me, and it has something to do with the fact that it is inherently embarrassing and humbling.

Does your partner do things that are deliberately designed to humble or embarrass you? If so, give us some examples. If not, do you want her to? I'm not talking about the embarrassment that is inherent in DD and in any power exchange to some extent but, rather, things above and beyond or separate from the spanking itself that are consciously designed to embarrass, humble or humiliate. For the wives, do you enjoying humbling, embarrassing or humiliating your husband?

If so, why? Saturday, August 31, Delayed Post.


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  • Hi all. For those of you in the U. I do plan to post over the weekend, but I'm off taking care of some other things this morning. I plan to post later today, or tomorrow morning. Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. Mine was up and down. We are slow at work again, but I also had a lot of work-related travel and socializing.

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    Bad combination. The week was also book-ended by work related socializing that left me depleted energetically. But, at least there is the weekend. We had a good discussion last week about our experiences with parental discipline. Some experienced lots of spankings as kids. Some none at all. Some of us grew up with consistent discipline and enforced boundaries. Some were left to basically raise ourselves.

    I have this sneaky suspicion that if there is a common pattern, it has more to do with the parenting style of the fathers than mothers, though thanks to Freud we tend to see this stuff through an Oedipal lens. All thoughts and suggestions on that are welcome. Dan, above you reveal three work behaviors your disciplinarian does not know about.

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    And you did so knowing that your wife reads your blog. Repeat that confession and challenge the rest of us to confess behaviors our disciplinarian does not know about for which we likely would be punished.

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    Challenge Part 2: Challenge each of us to read our confession to our disciplinarian! Then report back here what happens! In those cases men submitted a written confession to Aunt Kay and she studied them and assigned them to one of the other wives who then took appropriate action. It was super-cool. Your allusions to ways in which the DWC really was a live "club" always intrigue me. I try really, really hard not to "punch down," but it wasn't quite true when I said above that it "never" happens.

    It's rare, but it can happen, especially if I'm dealing with someone who is being kind of mindless rule follower and getting in the way of getting something done. But, if it someone a lot lower than me in the pecking order, losing my temper or being rude to someone in those circumstances is something I really wish someone would rat me out for.

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    There is one task that is fundamental to how we get paid, but that I just absolutely hate. I'm always behind and, while it doesn't impact the organization much, it means I spend a lot of evenings and weekends playing catch up. It would be great if someone told my wife, "BTW, he's a week behind again in turning in X report. Why not? But, since the AHWK dropped the gauntlet, and since there is no mechanism in place for anyone at work to snitch on me, I will man up and confess to three specific examples of bad behavior, all of which are loosely work related:.

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    I made that view very clear in an email that went to a dozen more people, some peers and some up the chain. I took it for a while, then rebuked him pretty directly, in a large meeting, for mouthing off before he had sufficient background to really understand an issue. There is not a question in my mind that he was out of line.

    But, the way I reacted is not how a leader should act. And, ironically, I am sure that some of the leaders I directed the communication to in 2 , above, feel like I was behaving exactly like the guy I went off on in my meeting. Perhaps a work colleague let something slip at a party? Have you ever been shocked to find out through a third-party that your husband did something and failed to report it? How did you deal with it? I do not mind when regular commenters drift off into other territory sometimes after addressing a topic.

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    But, the last couple of weeks have seen several people--mainly various iterations of "Anonymous" and a couple of new commenters--attempt to use this as a convenient place to strike up a discussion about their Femdom fantasies, BDSM scening, etc. The masthead at the top of the blog says what it is about -- and what it is not. I'm going to just start deleting comments that don't have anything to do with the topic or that kind of pretend to for a sentence or two before launching off into whatever Femdom or BDSM fantasy the commenter feels like talking about at random.

    If, when the soldiers have become attached to you, punishments are not enforced, they will still be useless.